Changes
Do you ever wish you could figure out the right decision to make, the right path to follow, the right choice to stick by? I'm at one of those points in my life right now. Where I've been feeling rather frustrated and confused though, I was reminded by someone today how exciting it is to be at the crossroads. I get to chose what I make of my life. I get to chose what job I do or don't take. Financially, maybe it looks like the wrong decision. The best piece of advice I received today was, follow your heart.
I'm struggling because the money is running out, the bills don't stop, and I have been presented with a sound job that would take the worry away. Well, at least the worry about where my paycheck is coming from and for how much. This position would not help me along in my career path, but it would help me stay where I am. Is that the way to go? Do I really want to stay where I am?
I find myself screaming loudly (well, internally anyways!), not just no, but HELL NO! I do not like the place I am in, or the path I am currently on. While I have always been told to listen to my heart, deep down I know my mother always meant a certain path was the right one. And so I'm about to tell her it isn't the right job, the right time, or the right choice for me to make. She will be angry but she has been angry before. She will be upset as this is "her" company, but the other choice is for me to leave bitter and unhappy in a few months. I am much like my mother, but yet this is the biggest difference between us. I'm not sure what her hopes & dreams were for herself. I know she would never have been where I am though. So I am not going to take the path that she thinks I should. I might fall, I might skin my already black & blue knees, but I know I will persevere. After all I have been through, how can I not!
With this being said, I'm scared and unsure what tomorrow will bring. Right now, I honestly don't know how I am going to purchase groceries, or take my cats to the vet, or do any of the big girl things a nearly thirty year old woman should be doing. Maybe I am being too optimistic in what life should be. Maybe I am just not ready to let go of the twenty-two year old inside my heart. Maybe my heart is right and I am finally doing the right thing by not taking the easy road.
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay
I'm struggling because the money is running out, the bills don't stop, and I have been presented with a sound job that would take the worry away. Well, at least the worry about where my paycheck is coming from and for how much. This position would not help me along in my career path, but it would help me stay where I am. Is that the way to go? Do I really want to stay where I am?
I find myself screaming loudly (well, internally anyways!), not just no, but HELL NO! I do not like the place I am in, or the path I am currently on. While I have always been told to listen to my heart, deep down I know my mother always meant a certain path was the right one. And so I'm about to tell her it isn't the right job, the right time, or the right choice for me to make. She will be angry but she has been angry before. She will be upset as this is "her" company, but the other choice is for me to leave bitter and unhappy in a few months. I am much like my mother, but yet this is the biggest difference between us. I'm not sure what her hopes & dreams were for herself. I know she would never have been where I am though. So I am not going to take the path that she thinks I should. I might fall, I might skin my already black & blue knees, but I know I will persevere. After all I have been through, how can I not!
With this being said, I'm scared and unsure what tomorrow will bring. Right now, I honestly don't know how I am going to purchase groceries, or take my cats to the vet, or do any of the big girl things a nearly thirty year old woman should be doing. Maybe I am being too optimistic in what life should be. Maybe I am just not ready to let go of the twenty-two year old inside my heart. Maybe my heart is right and I am finally doing the right thing by not taking the easy road.
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay
Comments